Fathers, teachers, mentors, and role models are often good sources of advice for teenage boys. These are the people you look up to as examples of the person you aspire to be. Whether you’re looking for teen love advice, school advice, sports advice, or everyday wisdom, you can find it here.
Teenage Love: Girlfriends and Boyfriends
Media representations of good boyfriends may be tempting when you don’t know how to be one. Unfortunately, men are often portrayed inaccurately, causing confusion. Keeping your girlfriend (or boyfriend) happy is as simple as keeping a few simple things in mind when you begin dating.
It can be challenging to connect with your girlfriend or boyfriend at the beginning of a new relationship. In order to create a good, fun relationship, you should both feel comfortable around each other. In other words, you trust each other completely on both a physical and emotional level.
Take the time to get to know each other and ask questions about likes and dislikes. Be sure to check in with each other if you are unsure about anything, especially sexual matters. Although it might feel awkward to talk about hooking up before doing so, it ensures that you are both comfortable and not feeling pressured.
Communication is Key
Being in a mature relationship means finding ways to communicate with each other. Take the time to listen to what your girlfriend (or boyfriend) is saying. In some cases, we spend too much time thinking about our response rather than listening to what the other person is trying to say.
Don’t worry, everyone experiences this at some point. You can show your girlfriend that you are listening by making good eye contact, nodding, and asking her questions related to the topic. It is also common for other people to like these listening cues. Teachers and parents, take note.
Separate Lust from Love
It’s important to be upfront about the type of relationship you’re looking for. You’ll be more likely to have the relationship you want if you do this, without misleading anyone. That sounds good, doesn’t it? You can determine whether the person you’re dating is interested in keeping it casual or being official by asking them what they expect.
It’s great if you’re both on the same page! In that case, you must decide whether this is the right relationship for you. “I’m really interested in dating you, but I want to keep things casual.” Or, “I’m really interested in dating you and would like to know if you’d like to be my girlfriend.”
Remember, being in lust creates a different relationship than being in love. In either case, make sure whoever you’re dating knows what’s going on in your head.
When you feel tempted to cheat, remember that people tend to do so when they aren’t getting what they want from their current relationship. Think about whether you want to stay in a relationship with your current girlfriend (boyfriend) before hooking up with someone else.
The process of repairing the damage caused by cheating is extremely challenging and not fun at all. If you want to end a relationship, you can say, “I have enjoyed dating you, but I think it would be best if we ended it.”
Establishing a good work ethic now can help you once you are out of school and in the workforce. Doing so early on can help ease the intensity that a real full-time job can have so you have more time to do the stuff you’d rather be doing.
Time management and efficiency are important skills that come in handy as you get older. Learn how to budget your time efficiently by paying attention to how long certain activities take so you can plan your tasks accordingly. You can do so by tracking the amount of time homework or projects take you by timing it on your phone, or downloading a time tracking app.
If you struggle to manage time, set your phone sleep screen to a clock and make sure you always have access to a clock. This can help your internal clock become more accurate over time. Doing this can help you accomplish necessary tasks (aka the more boring ones) while leaving more room for the fun activities you’d rather be doing.
Finding Your Passion
If you feel lost or bored at school, spend some time getting into things that interest you. Doing so can help you figure out what makes you feel good. You can also try volunteering for a few programs to see if anything fits your skill set and interests you. Doing activities that you care about can make you feel more confident in yourself which is always a win.
Learning how to give and earn respect from your peers and the adults in your life can take you pretty far. Although hormones and brain development can make self-control a bit more challenging during this time, practice making thoughtful decisions. It makes getting along with people much easier and saves you a ton of energy.
Being respectful means thinking about other people’s feelings and treating them with kindness. Even though it’s hard to do, try to take a deep breath and pause before you respond to others, instead of reacting to their statements. Imagine a friend or arch nemesis said something that bothered you.
Pause, take a breath and then respond. Sometimes when we respond immediately we let our emotions get the best of us. Plus it’s always best not to let rude people see you sweat.
Show others that you can be trusted by sticking to your word and following through. This means that if you aren’t able to do what you said you were going to that you let people know beforehand. You can say, “I’m sorry I won’t be able to pick you up later.” “I completely forgot I have an appointment to go to after school.”
People who are flaky tend to be viewed as less trustworthy-not something you want people to associate your name with. In relationships, being dependable can bring you closer together whether you’re with friends or the person you’re dating.
Creating concrete goals can help keep you motivated as well as prepare you for more difficult tasks in the future. To keep yourself focused, stay organized.
To work on following through, create a list of tasks in order of importance. You can do so on your phone or a calendar. Next, break your goals up into manageable tasks. This will make it feel less daunting.
Give yourself well-deserved breaks after working hard and come up with some small rewards for yourself. Think about mishaps or mistakes as learning experiences, instead of being hard on yourself.
Learning how to interact with people who you may disagree with can help you get your point across without causing unnecessary arguments. When you are able to communicate in a direct and understanding way, relationships can become a lot more fun and way easier to manage.
It’s Okay to Ask for Help
Sometimes it’s hard to ask for help. If you are struggling you can say, “I’m wondering if you can help me out with (insert problem).” When someone you trust gives you advice, work on being a good listener.
That means you fully understand what the other person is saying before you respond and you ask questions to clarify confusing subjects or language.
Handling School Interactions
At school, you may encounter teachers or administrative staff who you have a difficult time getting along with. To avoid causing more friction, try to remain calm and be thoughtful about how you choose to speak to them. Remember you can’t control their behavior, only your own.
If you are dealing with a difficult person at school, keep your interactions short and polite. That way you are less likely to have to deal with an angry person. Follow school policy, try to avoid engaging with them often, and speak with your family or a trusted staff member if interactions become hostile.
There can be a lot of tension between you and your family members as you get older. During this time, you are slowly breaking away and becoming an independent adult. This normal process can be challenging for parents to cope with, and you may experience more arguments at home. To help diffuse issues, be patient and know this phase will pass.
During more heated moments when you feel intense emotions coming up, spend some time thinking about how you can calmly share your thoughts with your family. It’s way more difficult to try to argue with someone who is calm instead of someone who is super angry.
If an argument gets out of hand and you’re feeling overwhelmed, let them know you need to take a break for a bit but would like to continue speaking when you are feeling less overwhelmed.
Connecting With Peers
Your peers may feel like the most important aspect of your life right now and that’s completely normal. It’s great practice for adulthood to begin looking at your relationships with your friends and identifying the ones that are the most important to you.
Spend time with the friends that are supportive, kind and understanding. These tend to be the friends that stick around even if you all go your separate ways after graduation.
Understanding Your Emotions
Emotions give you key information about what’s going on in your brain and body. When you learn to identify your emotions, you will have an easier time dealing with the ones that make you feel badly.
Dealing With Anger
For many teenage guys, anger can be a difficult emotion to deal with. To help work through angry feelings, try going for a run or doing something active to work the emotions out of your body. You can also listen to calming music. Be sure you are getting enough sleep at night, as you may need a bit more sleep than adults do, and a lack of sleep can cause mood swings and intense crankiness.
Spend some time figuring out what triggered you to feel angry in the first place and think about solutions that you can use in case this situation comes up again. It’s always a good to be prepared!
Working Through Anxiety
During adolescence, a lot of physical and mental changes are occurring. You may experience anxiety around social situations, your physical appearance and your future. To decrease symptoms of anxiety, identify what causes the anxiety spikes. Practice deep breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation to help keep you grounded.
Be sure to acknowledge your successes, even the ones that feel small, instead of harping on your perceived failures. This can help boost your confidence and decrease your overall anxiety.
Where Else to Find Advice
When you need advice, it’s essential to speak with someone you trust. Feeling angry, anxious, sad or frustrated can make you feel better. Various professionals can offer you advice, such as doctors, family members, teachers, coaches, and mental health professionals.
Good Advice for Teenage Boys
As an adolescent, you have the opportunity to learn about yourself and gain a better understanding of how you think. Set goals, improve your relationships, and find healthy ways to take care of yourself during this time.